• Sunshine and Unicorns
  • Sunshine and Unicorns
  • Sunshine and Unicorns
  • Sunshine and Unicorns
  • Sunshine and Unicorns
sunshine & unicorns: a blog about love, learning, and life in the upper midwest

11 October 2008

i'm sinking to the bottom of my everything that freaks me out

It's been a year since last October. Pretty obvious, I know, but October '07 was a very life-changing and transitional month for me. For the past several days, I've been feeling like I should write about October.


Camera: Canon Powershot S3 IS
Post-Processing: Brightness/Contrast, Levels adjustment


In October of 2007, I presented at a conference in my field. I'd received my degree just two months prior, and was delighted that my audience at this presentation was interested in, and hungry for my knowledge of the subject matter. They considered me an expert, whereas I'd simply considered myself a career girl with a freshly framed piece of paper. The experience changed my perspective on education, expertise, and mastery and led me to a decision to pursue a Ph.D in the field. I struggled with the choice, both because I was troubled in other ways (I'll get to that in a minute) and because I had been soooo happy to finally be done with school. But, in the end I sucked it up and decided I would indeed venture back in to the realm of post-graduate study. It's now a year later, and after a competitive selection process, I'm saddled with journal reviews, theoretical projects, and statistics tests.


Camera: Canon Powershot S3 IS
Post-Processing: Brightness/Contrast, Levels adjustment


In October of 2007, I came to a realization about my personal life. To be brief, my marriage of a year and a half was little more than a situation in which 2 people with very different interests, aspirations, and personalities shared a last name and lived together. It wasn't bad: no one was being abused or anything, but we were better off apart. Realizing this was painful, but also freeing. The 2 months before the hearing were extremely stressful and hard, but it led to a better 2008. I found a dear friend in the process too (I'll get to that in a minute)-- someone who completely understood and was absolutely there for me, even through his own difficult times. One year later, the ex is half a continent away. We still cordially email occasionally, but have tapered off a great deal, and I suspect that trend will continue. I cried about it last night. Not due to regret for the divorce, but instead for the whole marriage. Such a romantic, traditional, generally level-headed girl I am, yet I married young and without enough forethought. I feel refreshed today, having talked with Bf about it for a long while. I suspect that I have cried all the tears I will cry for this. It is a part of my past, and I have moved on and into a brighter future. I don't believe I have mentioned it here before, and it won't surface again.


Camera: Canon Powershot S3 IS
Post-Processing: Shadow/Highlight, Levels adjustment


In October of 2007, I went on a photo trip with a friend and coworker. We talked, drove, and took photos of everything. Scenery, the car, each other, the day. It was the best time I'd had in... I had no idea how long. There was also something else... something we couldn't quite put our finger on. Tension perhaps? The more we talked, the more we shared, and the more we shared, the more we found out how alike we both were. It was a glimmer of hope: hope that perhaps someone was out there for each of us, that we were not doomed to be either misunderstood or alone throughout our lives. Months later, after a lot of bad for both of us, there was much needed good: we went from being good friends to becoming a great couple. A year after those first photo trips, we have been on countless others. Our framed photos line the walls of the home we share, and our cameras sit on the shelf together, awaiting the next journey.


Camera: Canon Powershot S3 IS
Post-Processing: Brightness/Contrast, Levels adjustment


All of the photos in this post were taken on that fateful phototrip of 10/07.